What is yours?
What is mine?
What is a purpose?
You think yours is lost,
I can't remember mine,
Our purpose is a miss.
Come back to me,
I'll find it with you.
We'll have a purpose again,
Someday.
People talk about the future,
Trap us in something we don't
Know (no?)
You don't want to be held down.
You need to live, love,
Grow (go?)
In the darkness,
Your admission and underlying fear,
They make me wonder,
They make me think,
Clogs in a clock, forever turning.
A future.
Once upon a time,
You and I could have had one together.
Now, you and her,
And yet, you're unsure
of that future.
(you don't want it.)
And me?
Would you come back to me?
Could we make it right this time?
(Maybe?)
The future is not set in stone.
Your fears, my wonders,
They could exist
Or not,
But we won't know
Until they happen.
Until the future comes.
One.
Rushing through the school crowds,
Seeing you search for your bus,
We meet for a frantic moment,
A brush of our lips,
Just barely.
Our first kiss.
Two.
A date, unbeknownst to me,
On a nice December day,
We sit in the grass,
Watch the sunset,
And your lips seal over mine
For a moment longer.
Our first kiss.
Three.
"Come with me to the beach?" I ask,
Flirting more than I thought.
You oblige, come along.
Sunshine suits your eyes,
Lost and surprised,
Yet you play the game
I've never heard of.
Eyes sparkle as we lean forward
And the shade of umbrellas give off
The sweetest meeting of lips.
Our first kiss.
Four.
A confession, if I may.
Some
I want to rest.
I am so tired.
I want to lay in your arms, wrapped up warm.
I want to hold you in mine, humming a made up tune as you rest your weary eyes.
Dream with me, lover.
Lay with me, lover.
In the quiet of twilight, when the sun has almost left us, let me look to the sky, laying on your chest. Let your heartbeat sing me to sleep. Let your breath steady as we drift off. Eyes close, we move a little closer, warmer now.
We are in the in-between, not quite asleep but not quite awake, either. We're on autopilot for the moment.
Sleepy, but we exchange quiet kisses, hold a little tighter, mumble incoherent things about the future and p
You are a closed heart.
A "fixed point", as you like to say.
You like to have a solution
But you quiver when there is not one.
Some things just are
But you don't want to see that.
Not yet, at least.
You apologize,
Sorry for the jumble,
Something you're not used to.
I listen,
Unraveling more and more
of a familiar story.
You say that no experience is the same,
Yet your story rings memories of my past.
Memories, echoes of another time.
You like me
But I am not what you need,
Not strong enough,
Not stable.
But I want to be.
I am more than you think,
An old soul now.
You want to learn how to love?
Let my old soul teach you.
Oh, how the times have changed,
Where innocent flirting
has given way
to less innocent insinuations.
Where once you were a stranger,
and now we are more than two people,
stuttering to make conversation.
Where we used to be around each other so often,
but now I barely see you
and I miss being around you.
Where I was testing waters around you,
wondering if I could trust you,
and knowing now that I can.
Where I told myself that I wouldn't fall for you,
And at some point I realized that
oh, I did fall and hard.
Times have changed for you and I,
and I wonder if the future
will hold good for us.
One can only wait and see,
But changes, however
A Little Bit of Time, for Siri and Ori by Lolita-MusicBox, literature
Literature
A Little Bit of Time, for Siri and Ori
A melody rings out, soft, beautiful, gentle. Sirius knows the tune and hums along quietly as Orion's fingers glide across the keys with ease. This tune was their favorite and although Ori barely played it, they knew it was their favorite for a reason.
On rare occasions when the house was quiet and Orion wasn't being lazy or fussy about the piano, he played. He would always play something soft, something delicate yet simple. The simplicity of the pieces he chose were what always put Siri in a trance of sorts. Not that he wasn't always in a trance with Orion. His brother was so picky about the pieces he played on the piano and hardly liked to
What Has Come Over Me? by Lolita-MusicBox, literature
Literature
What Has Come Over Me?
What ails my heart,
So fragile, she is,
So delicate and soft,
Glass.
She can be seen through all,
She is open and waiting
for love to fill her up.
What has come over me,
That I wait for a man
With a glass heart like mine,
Wanting to be filled
with love.
Reunion, that will be our gift,
Someday.
I sit here, rocking back and forth, side to side, lost and unseeing.
I am not moving, though.
I am still, a puddle untouched, stagnating now, in the same old routine. Change that should have been has slipped through my still fingers, barely rippling the surface of my pond.
I am still again.
I am chasing a shadow, a ghost of a chance that wasn't even there to begin with. On and on, the cycle of repetitive nonsense, the act of going through the motions but not doing anything.
I am being left behind, a blip in the presence of your life. I am unchanging, unmoving, no fun anymore, a discarded toy for a few moments of use.
You are ever-changing, i
I don't want to.
I don't have to.
But I should.
It's pointless to pine for someone for over a year and be left with nothing.
Why am I doing this to myself?
What's the point?
I'm not good enough for him,
I'll never be what he wants.
I try so hard for nothing.
I give my all for nothing.
What am I doing?
I'll miss him, of course.
I'll miss days spent together.
But I'm running in place,
Moving but going nowhere.
It'll hurt.
It always hurts.
But it's time to end this.
I'm getting nowhere.
Maybe someday,
He'll come back to me
And take me for who I am.
But today is not that day,
And I must close this book.
What is yours?
What is mine?
What is a purpose?
You think yours is lost,
I can't remember mine,
Our purpose is a miss.
Come back to me,
I'll find it with you.
We'll have a purpose again,
Someday.
People talk about the future,
Trap us in something we don't
Know (no?)
You don't want to be held down.
You need to live, love,
Grow (go?)
In the darkness,
Your admission and underlying fear,
They make me wonder,
They make me think,
Clogs in a clock, forever turning.
A future.
Once upon a time,
You and I could have had one together.
Now, you and her,
And yet, you're unsure
of that future.
(you don't want it.)
And me?
Would you come back to me?
Could we make it right this time?
(Maybe?)
The future is not set in stone.
Your fears, my wonders,
They could exist
Or not,
But we won't know
Until they happen.
Until the future comes.
One.
Rushing through the school crowds,
Seeing you search for your bus,
We meet for a frantic moment,
A brush of our lips,
Just barely.
Our first kiss.
Two.
A date, unbeknownst to me,
On a nice December day,
We sit in the grass,
Watch the sunset,
And your lips seal over mine
For a moment longer.
Our first kiss.
Three.
"Come with me to the beach?" I ask,
Flirting more than I thought.
You oblige, come along.
Sunshine suits your eyes,
Lost and surprised,
Yet you play the game
I've never heard of.
Eyes sparkle as we lean forward
And the shade of umbrellas give off
The sweetest meeting of lips.
Our first kiss.
Four.
A confession, if I may.
Some
I want to rest.
I am so tired.
I want to lay in your arms, wrapped up warm.
I want to hold you in mine, humming a made up tune as you rest your weary eyes.
Dream with me, lover.
Lay with me, lover.
In the quiet of twilight, when the sun has almost left us, let me look to the sky, laying on your chest. Let your heartbeat sing me to sleep. Let your breath steady as we drift off. Eyes close, we move a little closer, warmer now.
We are in the in-between, not quite asleep but not quite awake, either. We're on autopilot for the moment.
Sleepy, but we exchange quiet kisses, hold a little tighter, mumble incoherent things about the future and p
You are a closed heart.
A "fixed point", as you like to say.
You like to have a solution
But you quiver when there is not one.
Some things just are
But you don't want to see that.
Not yet, at least.
You apologize,
Sorry for the jumble,
Something you're not used to.
I listen,
Unraveling more and more
of a familiar story.
You say that no experience is the same,
Yet your story rings memories of my past.
Memories, echoes of another time.
You like me
But I am not what you need,
Not strong enough,
Not stable.
But I want to be.
I am more than you think,
An old soul now.
You want to learn how to love?
Let my old soul teach you.
Oh, how the times have changed,
Where innocent flirting
has given way
to less innocent insinuations.
Where once you were a stranger,
and now we are more than two people,
stuttering to make conversation.
Where we used to be around each other so often,
but now I barely see you
and I miss being around you.
Where I was testing waters around you,
wondering if I could trust you,
and knowing now that I can.
Where I told myself that I wouldn't fall for you,
And at some point I realized that
oh, I did fall and hard.
Times have changed for you and I,
and I wonder if the future
will hold good for us.
One can only wait and see,
But changes, however
A Little Bit of Time, for Siri and Ori by Lolita-MusicBox, literature
Literature
A Little Bit of Time, for Siri and Ori
A melody rings out, soft, beautiful, gentle. Sirius knows the tune and hums along quietly as Orion's fingers glide across the keys with ease. This tune was their favorite and although Ori barely played it, they knew it was their favorite for a reason.
On rare occasions when the house was quiet and Orion wasn't being lazy or fussy about the piano, he played. He would always play something soft, something delicate yet simple. The simplicity of the pieces he chose were what always put Siri in a trance of sorts. Not that he wasn't always in a trance with Orion. His brother was so picky about the pieces he played on the piano and hardly liked to
What Has Come Over Me? by Lolita-MusicBox, literature
Literature
What Has Come Over Me?
What ails my heart,
So fragile, she is,
So delicate and soft,
Glass.
She can be seen through all,
She is open and waiting
for love to fill her up.
What has come over me,
That I wait for a man
With a glass heart like mine,
Wanting to be filled
with love.
Reunion, that will be our gift,
Someday.
I sit here, rocking back and forth, side to side, lost and unseeing.
I am not moving, though.
I am still, a puddle untouched, stagnating now, in the same old routine. Change that should have been has slipped through my still fingers, barely rippling the surface of my pond.
I am still again.
I am chasing a shadow, a ghost of a chance that wasn't even there to begin with. On and on, the cycle of repetitive nonsense, the act of going through the motions but not doing anything.
I am being left behind, a blip in the presence of your life. I am unchanging, unmoving, no fun anymore, a discarded toy for a few moments of use.
You are ever-changing, i
I don't want to.
I don't have to.
But I should.
It's pointless to pine for someone for over a year and be left with nothing.
Why am I doing this to myself?
What's the point?
I'm not good enough for him,
I'll never be what he wants.
I try so hard for nothing.
I give my all for nothing.
What am I doing?
I'll miss him, of course.
I'll miss days spent together.
But I'm running in place,
Moving but going nowhere.
It'll hurt.
It always hurts.
But it's time to end this.
I'm getting nowhere.
Maybe someday,
He'll come back to me
And take me for who I am.
But today is not that day,
And I must close this book.
happy new year, 2018!
firstly, it's been forever and I don't know if y'all noticed but I haven't been on here in ages, mostly cuz I'm on twitter and tumblr now so I'll leave my accounts at the end.
next, maybe you noticed that I deleted my entries from 2017 and 2016 because they were god-awful and bad experiences that I just don't want to remember but I still do. I just don't want to be reminded of them and the person that I once thought I loved. Big mistake.
anyway, a lot has happened since I haven't been one here.
life keeps me busy and by busy I mean, I work full time and I get home and sleep at like 8pm since I'm old and cranky.
I st
Why?
Why would you intentionally make someone hate you? Why would you make anyone want to feel hate? Why? You know how it feels to truly hate someone and you know that it's an awful feeling. So why would you make someone feel that? Do you get anything out of that? Does it make you happy? Why?
Do you read what I write? Yes, I'll admit, I'm contradicting and confusing and I never know what to feel. But I do know that I never wanted to hate you again. I don't like hate. It's vile and awful and toxic and I don't like feeling that way.
To be honest, you and I existed in balance rarely. It's hard to remember the good things when, more often than
so first off, happy 2015 everyone!! i hope you all had a great new years day! >u<
so earlier this morning, i was thinking about how the past year has been a rollercoaster of crazy shit and how so much can happen in a year. pretty insane, if you ask me.
i think one of the biggest things i'm starting to realize is the effect people have had on me in the past year. so much has happened, so many new faces have become close hearts, so many old faces have become distant, etc.
one thing that really gets me still, though is my. . . acquaintance, i guess? he's not really a friend anymore. he used to be. he used to mean everything to me. i wou